At risk of ruining the beautiful stretch of 3-days we're on, I'd like to take a moment to admit that perhaps Jen was right. Yes, take note, because this may be the *only* time you hear me admit that Jen was right and I *may* have been wrong!
For the past several weeks, I've been pretty convinced that we have a high-needs baby. Every time I said it, Jen would cringe. She hated it, and refused to admit that our little guy's fussiness crossed the threshold from "easy baby" to "difficult baby". I, for one, thought she was in denial.
Well, we discovered a great book called "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg -- in her book, Tracy teaches you to decipher your baby's cries and facial expressions to figure out exactly what all this "fussiness" is about. She basically asks you to think of your baby as a foreigner in a new land and treat him/her with appropriate respect and understanding. As an example she asks you to imagine that you're in a new country where you don't speak the language..you ask where the bathroom is...noone understands you and assumes you want food...so they stick a plate of spaghetti under your nose. Helpful? Not really. This analogy really helped me understand that while I thought I was feeding Zain "on-demand" (if other soothing mechanisms weren't working, I'd put him on the breast which was sure to soothe) it was possible I was just feeding him regardless of what his cry was "asking" for. Makes sense - why didn't we think of that before??
After reading her descriptions of various typical baby cries and what they mean, and then spending a day really listening to and observing Zain in a mindful fashion for a few seconds before responding when he cried, it became clear to me that he did in fact have very different cries! So we started making a point to listen to these different cries and respond appropriately. What we found was that he was sleepy WAAAY more often than we had originally recognized! And hungry much less often that we had thought! What we also learned is that he is VERY impatient! If you don't catch his sleepy cue right away (by the second yawn) - he quickly becomes overtired and runs himself into a crying frenzy. Same goes for his hungry cry (though this crying fit is easier/quicker to fix!).
For three days now we have been listening very closely for Zain's various cues and responding appropriately to meet his needs as best as we can. As a result, we've been putting him down for naps more regularly throughout the day. He has basically gotten himself naturally onto 2.5 hour cycles where he sleeps for about an hour, feeds for 20-30 minutes, plays for 30-45 minutes and then sleeps again. Gone are the evening fussy periods. Gone are the long bouts of NFI crying. And in their place are lots of smiles and giggles! As a result we get to spend alot more fun and cuddly time with him bonding happily! Of course if we miss a cue or worse yet miss a nap...watch out!! Our fussy baby returns with a vengeance (this happened tonite after an interrupted nap - which confirmed for me what's going on and inspired this blog post!).
So Jen, it seems that this time you were right! Our little guy isn't high-needs after all. I wouldn't exactly call him "easy" though...perhaps "medium-needs" would be more fitting given his impatience and his need for us to respond QUICK when he asks for something! Hopefully this trait doesn't carry through into toddler-hood! :-)
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